the sixth

It is easy to prepare a sampling strategy in an air conditioned office at Taramani, Chennai. It is a completely different ball game altogether when you have to implement the same in a village in Howrah district of West Bengal especially when the researchert becomes the supervisor. Parched with thirst and soaked in sweat, the researcher wonders whether it makes more sense to just lose weight and become a model. (i Wish)
Then she is reminded of what a very good friend, who never answers the phone had said " let not the smiles on their faces deceive you into being indifferent to the blasts of vacuum throbbing in their empty stomachs..let not the tears down their cheekbones lure into being attached to the tragedy of their sub-human drama..coz oh dear researcher..observe with equanimity and thou shalt be observed with compassion!"
Pray but what am I? A development worker? hah! At best, i can be described as a pseudo development worker.
it becomes all the more difficult when the researcher is somebody who starts caring a lot. I mean it doesnt matter for whom. Once in my sphere of influence, i'll care about anyone and anything. So the worries start. Accommodation, food for the surveyors etc. etc.
my visits to villages. They make me apprehensive. I still cant figure out what i want. i feel happy in villages. but one thing is clear, my work is hardly developmental. It is just about receiving grants and squandering the money.
crux of the matter-area profiling study has nothing to do with development and i am not a development worker. just a shady researcher who is confused in the head. needs sorting in the head!